It's a Miscarriage!

So the weekend didn't bring agonizing pains and a rush to the ER, thankfully.  It did bring the onset of bleeding so it looks like nature is taking its course.  I have shed my tears and am now just hoping the miscarriage does its thing and we can avoid the facing the worst of the ectopic.

It's so funny how your perspective on things can change given certain circumstances.  Never did I think I would be happy to see signs of a miscarriage, be longing for zero on my hcg levels and looking forward to a normal AF cycle.  Now, throw an ectopic in the mix and the threat of methotrexate or a laparoscopy and well you get the idea, I'd take miscarriage over that any day.  It's come to this, a viable pregnancy isn't even on the books, just the choice between the worse case scenario and the other not so worse case scenario. 

Today's hcg results are promising; they are down to 9,000.  How strange to be relieved to see declining hcg levels.  Quite the change of attitude from where we were at the start of last week when we got our first positive blood test and were thrilled at the high numbers.  Such is life, or lack thereof in this case :(

Doc still talked about Methotrexate or Laparoscopy if the numbers don't continue to decline but I told her that for me Metho was not an option I even wanted to consider.  So I wait a week, take another hcg test and keep my finger's crossed that the numbers plummet. 

Why is it that in the TTC journey it always feel like a waiting game.  There is always something you have to sit and wait around for, AF cycle, Egg-white cm, mature follies, the awful 2ww, and so it goes on.  Now are in the "let's get our hcg levels to zero" waiting game, which will be followed by "let's have a normal period" waiting game, and then hopefully we can start another  with the "let's thaw some eggs, stick them in the oven and see if they cook properly" waiting game.

I just hope we win this game in the end.  I guess we'll have to WAIT and see.